every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
