he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
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Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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