There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
