I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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