doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
