Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
