singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize