i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Let's get the cat blown out
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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