We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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