He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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