i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
