I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
