Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
