garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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