I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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