wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
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I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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