i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize