But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
