Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Two words: blizzard sex
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
