My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
