GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
