my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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