I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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