my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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