It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
third nipple confirmed
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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