Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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