Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
