Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
