Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
