You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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