I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
