I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
