the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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