How'd it feel making her break her religion?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
