The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
