WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
