First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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