dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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