I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize