forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Even my vagina gasped.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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