Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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