I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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