Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize