Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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