He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize