how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
