So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
