Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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