I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wear drunk well.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
