He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
