Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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