im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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