they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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