the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
