oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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