I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
