My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have demons in me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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