oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
